by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor. NEW YORK, NY – Actor Aaron Durkin has entered the annals of theatrical history by delivering an audition so powerful that the casting director stopped opening their salad container. “I was nervous, due to the timing,” Durkin said while sitting like a king on his throne in the cafe at Ripley-Grier. “It’s always a gamble to book your slot after lunch. I walked in and, sure enough, a cobb salad was there, just waiting to be ripped open. So I

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY. — Oh, you just saw Robert Icke’s political thriller reimagining of Oedipus ? Yeah, I can tell, based on the way you’re pronouncing — or shall we say, MIS-pronouncing — the play name. Sorry, I don’t mean to condescend, I just think you should know: it’s not “EE-DEH-PISS,” it’s pronounced “GOD-OH.” It’s an easy mistake! Lots of academics don’t teach it right, and if you’ve only ever heard something pronounced one way, of course you’ll

by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor NEW YORK, NY – Bummer. It is with great reluctance to inform you that the cast for The Rocky Horror Show contains a mere two Academy Award nominees. “You hate to see it happen,” said Peter Styles, a source with a sinful amount of Google alerts for casting announcements. “How does one expect to succeed in this town with just two nominees? At this rate, they might as well board up Studio 54 and turn it back into a Roller Disco!” Meanwhile,

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. PALO ALTO, CA - Backstage at the Palo Alto Playhouse, confused cast members were left with an indeterminate amount of time to prepare for the top of show when complacent stage manager Robert Gilman called for places whenever. “We were just chatting in our dressing room, still mid-hair and makeup, when we heard him announce places in, you know, whenever feels right,” said puzzled ensemble member Stephanie Schwartz, mentally calculating if she

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social THEBES, GR - Readers of my column that I etch into literal columns on The Parthenon often accuse me of focusing too much on our leaders. They say I don’t care enough about the day-to-day issues affecting your everyday Theban goat herders, slave drivers, and erotic pottery artisans. Why focus on our king and queen, when there are much greater things plaguing our city? Most notably: The Plague.  But I

by Allyson Stathers. @allysonstathers. ASHEVILLE, NC — Awesome! Theatre Major Carissa Calloway’s acting professor has written an awful play called Black & White,  and now wants her to participate in the live table read. “It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever read,” claimed Calloway as she highlighted her lines in anger. “I mean, it’s one thing to have your Prof write a script and tell you about it, but it’s another thing when he forces you to read it in front of an actual au