by Shaina Maitino.
CHICAGO – In a hilarious turn of events, college freshman Wanda Reese really thought that by majoring in theatre, she’d finally be free of Seussical. What a fool she is! One of America’s most produced musicals has already rooted itself into her school’s mainstage season.
“I’m not disappointed,” Reese said, as her torn audition sheet repaired itself before her eyes. “I’ve just done it ten times. My high school did it twice in four years. I’ve been Jojo, Mayzie, and all three bird girls. I thought that, you know, coming to college, I’d be able to branch out and do… literally anything else.”
Silly Wanda! She thought she could escape the Cat’s never-ending reach! Phoebe Dolenz, the head of the theatre department at Lillard University and director of the production, was elated to bring her favorite musical to life.
“Seussical is exactly the musical we need right now,” she said, while covering up posters in her office with Seussical posters - even the CPR one. "It is something we can all agree on. Why would we do any other show? This one has an elephant! No matter where you are in life, you will love Seussical.”
Can you believe Reese genuinely thought there was a musical more beloved than Seussical? We reached out to the composer and lyricist for comment, and they too could not stop laughing at Wanda’s hubris.
“No other musical compares,” declared lyricist Lynn Ahrens, lounging on her throne atop her mountain of royalty money. “When we wrote it, we knew we were creating something big. Something that will stick into your head and drive you mad with obsession. Something that will outlast this civilization and the next. You will love Seussical. Or else.”
Wanda was last seen being dragged into the audition by smiling students all singing “Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!”
We wish her the best of luck on her audition. She is truly blessed to have been given this chance, and hopefully every American can someday be as lucky as she is. We love Seussical. Seussical is everywhere. You cannot hide forever.
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