by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
WORLDWIDE - Horror fans found themselves outraged this week after the much-anticipated film Longlegs - shrouded in secrecy throughout its marketing campaign - was revealed to be a big, bright, beefy movie musical all along.
“I thought they weren’t showing Nicolas Cage to keep it mysterious. Turns out it’s because he plays a cane-twirling, toe-tapping song ‘n dance man,” noted audience member Todd Filp, who admitted to finding Maika Monroe’s head voice quite lovely. “Oh, and the 'longlegs' in question? They’re used for a big Tommy Tune tribute number. If I wanted to see a scary movie musical, I’d just watch Cats.”
The musical features original songs by Imagine Dragons, and a cameo by Sabrina Carpenter as Longlegs’ arch nemesis, Shortlegs. A stage adaptation is planned for early next year, along with a stage adaptation of upcoming movie musical Twisters.
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To keep it a mystery, I believe they excluded Nicolas Cage. That's because, it turns out, he portrayed a guy who bounced, spun a stick, and danced. geometry dash subzero