HELP! My Chicago-Style Hot Dog is Singing About Killing Its Husband
- Broadway Beat
- Feb 1
- 2 min read
by J.R. Gudeon. @j.r.__gudeon.
NEW YORK, NY - Somebody, help me! My Chicago-style hotdog just started singing about stabbing its husband somewhere out in the Midwest…and now it’s saying I’m next!
I’ve never seen anything like it: As soon as the diced onions hit the top, the hot dog began to vibrate in a 3/4 count right there in the palm of my hand. Then, the haunting whispers began.
“Hold the judgment, tough guy. I could have handled a cheating husband, but chewing gum? LOUDLY? That is just a step too far,” it said, spitting hot dog water at my temple. “Don’t let the crisp Argentine beats backing me up make you think I won’t get messy.”
Desperate for reassurance I wasn’t losing my mind, I looked to the guy at the cart for guidance.
“It’s cute how many customers totally panic from a tiny little hot dog singing,” he said while adjusting his fedora over his left eye. “My advice is: don’t piss her off. The last guy that did ended up in the next day’s papers: ‘Man Found Dead After Choking on Hot Dog.’”
I looked back down, and by then, it had sprouted a single fishnet stocking, and a bob-cut sharp enough to slit my throat.
Won’t anybody save me from this poppy-seed clad murderess? Is there no law enforcement that specializes in rounding up vixen hot dogs and throwing them in jail together where they can dance and scheme and have full narrative control of their misdeeds?
Somebody, please, take her off my hands!
“Trying to pawn me off would have hurt a while ago, but I’ve come a long way since I last saw my husband. Since then, I’ve disposed of all the men who cross me the same way: by leaving them lifeless, tangled in our bedsheets. Want to join my collection? I call it ‘Pigs in a Blanket.’”
Error reduction is a significant benefit of mechanical estimating software, as manual estimations often lead to miscalculations that can https://www.taksoai.com/ result in financial losses. Automated processes ensure that calculations are accurate, minimizing the risk of costly mistakes and enhancing overall project efficiency.
Laser hair removal is a widely sought-after cosmetic procedure that provides a long-term solution for unwanted hair. It works by using laser best laser hair removal brampton energy to target hair follicles, preventing future growth. This method is safe, efficient, and suitable for various skin types, making it a preferred choice for many individuals.
Play Duck Duck Clicker for free! Click ducks, earn Ducket$, dress up your duck with cool accessories, and unlock powerful upgrades. Perfect for all ages!
Sana Khan is the greatest Model Town Escorts for providing the best Russian escorts for sex. If you're looking for Russian escort sex, you've come to the correct spot. Here, you might run into a range of foreign girls.
Kaiser OTC benefits provide members with discounts on over-the-counter medications, vitamins, and health essentials, promoting better health management and cost-effective wellness solutions.
Obituaries near me help you find recent death notices, providing information about funeral services, memorials, and tributes for loved ones in your area.
is traveluro legit? Many users have had mixed experiences with the platform, so it's important to read reviews and verify deals before booking.