by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
LOS ANGELES - Nationwide fried chicken chain Chick-fil-A, in an effort to compete with McDonalds’ popular Travis Scott meal, has revealed their new Katharine McPhee meal, which includes zero food, but does redirect the customer’s money toward the reelection of multiple Republican officials, the chain confirmed.
“I am so honored that Chick-fil-A has named a meal after me - and by ‘meal’, I of course mean a donation to the National Republican Senatorial Committee and literally no food,” noted McPhee while probably texting Meghan McCain or some shit. “Make sure to tell them Cactus Jack Kemp sent you!”
Chick-fil-A head of marketing Montgomery Hanson was thrilled to share more details behind the promotion.
“We’ve been such a fan of Katharine’s ever since we found out she’s consistently donated money toward keeping a GOP majority within the senate. So, like, a week and a half or so,” noted Hanson while googling which of McPhee’s Smash co-stars are gay so she can “look away during their parts.”
Fan response to the meal has been mostly positive.
“I’ve bought one for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” noted longtime Chick-fil-A fan and recent Shark Night 3D superfan Chris Fairbanks III. “I don’t need actual food to feel full. Just knowing that I’m contributing to actively restricting the rights of future generations is nourishment enough.”
At press time, McPhee is currently working with other established brands on additional promotions, including a PSA raising hot tub money for NFL team owners, and a new pill by Pfizer that helps you still enjoy Waitress without accidentally thinking of her.
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