by Shaina Maitino.
NEW YORK, NY – Cole Escola’s historical farce Oh, Mary! has been a total Broadway smash. Escola wrote Mary Todd Lincoln as a dramatic, alcoholic, dissatisfied wife – and didn’t do any research about her. For them, this has led to critical acclaim.
However, when I famously did no research for MY essay on the French Revolution, my teacher scolded me after class. What gives?
“I’ve never heard of Cole Escola,” eleventh grade history teacher Mrs. Turner said in the after-class meeting. “But their play sounds really funny. I might even go see it. You still have to redo the paper, though. I can’t grade this.”
When Escola imagines Mary as a niche cabaret legend, it’s fun – even though cabaret as a concept didn’t make it to America from France until 1911. But for some reason, MY paragraph about the importance of Robespierre’s WhatsApp group chat was underlined in red pen, with an annotation that simply said, “WHY?”
This double standard should not stand.
“You wrote what?” my mom asked, when informed of this injustice after having to pick me up early. “Why on Earth would you do that? Just use Wikipedia or something. Are you trying to fail?”
Maybe, Mother, what I am trying to do is be recognized for my creativity! Maybe I’m trying to make people laugh. And maybe I’m trying to maximize my time playing Minecraft, even if it means I don’t go on JSTOR. Is that a crime?
At least my tutor liked it.
“It’s incredibly creative,” said history tutor Magdalena Berkowitz, who - for what it's worth - hasn't seen season four of Search Party. “I loved the part where Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI reminisced about going sky-diving. But as a history paper, it’s terrible. Horrendous. Honestly, it’s insulting that you thought this would pass. Just use Wikipedia or something.”
Someday, I hope high school students get the same respect as produced Broadway playwrights. To Mrs. Turner, I have only one thing to say, and it's the same thing Mary says to Lincoln in the climax of Oh, Mary!: “Dammit, Abe! I am more than what you think! I WILL be a star, and you and your army of killer robots will not stop me!”
Or something. I haven't seen it.
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