by Grant Cleaveland. @cleaveland_g.
NEW YORK, NY - Tony-nominated actor Rob McClure has been cast as the titular role in Broadway’s musical adaptation of Mrs. Doubtfire, which began previews earlier this week at the Stephen Sondheim Theatre - a casting choice which is entirely inappropriate and inexcusable considering that I really, really would have liked to do it.
“My son is a fine, fine actor. He knows every word to one of the songs from Aladdin,” noted my mother in an exclusive interview. “He used to watch that VHS every night before bed. If these schmucks doing the Broadway casting had an eye or an ear for talent, it’d be my son up there doing his funny genie impression. I say boycott the show until it’s my son - or don’t, everyone probably worked hard on it,” she added even though I told her only to take my side on this.
Unfortunately, this is not the first time my talent has been overlooked.
“Oh yeah, you’re the kid who egged my car when I didn’t cast you in Little Shop of Horrors,” claimed Mr. Book, my former high school theatre director. “Maybe it’s not my place to say this, but you can’t star in a Broadway musical just because you want to. It takes hard work and a whole lot of talent. Also, you really can’t be walking around these halls without a guest badge. You graduated, like, six years ago.”
Think the Broadway elite don't see what’s going on here? I caught up with Brian d’Arcy James so he could totally rip McClure for taking the role.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Rob is extremely talented,” responded d’Arcy James in our brief streetside interview on West 46th Street. “Can’t you see I’m eating a pastrami sandwich? Get the fuck out of my face with that microphone. Why do you even have a microphone? I can see it’s not plugged in.
Mrs. Doubtfire began previews March 9th, 2020 at the Sondheim Theatre, starring Rob McClure, even though I, again, really wanted to do it. That being said, I am willing to settle for a supporting role in the production, or any other production, and plan on stirring up even more controversy on the issue until either it happens, or I get tired.
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