Five Broadway Shows to See Before I Hunt You Down

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht.

NEW YORK, NY – Broadway. With a whopping 41 theaters and an endless cycle of plays and musicals, deciding on which show to see can lead you down a spiral of choice paralysis. Not to mention the fact that I’m hunting you down, and gaining fast.

To make your decision a little easier, here’re my recommended top five Broadway shows to see while you still can, in a very literal sense.

1. GYPSY, Majestic Theater

   Admittedly, this one is pretty obvious. Audra McDonald is Mother, and that’s especially true as the overbearing Mama Rose. This is the production to see this season, especially before I scoop you up with a big ol’ net and put you in my human zoo.

2. OH, MARY!, Lyceum Theater

   Heralded as one of the funniest shows in history, Cole Escola’s comedy about Mary Todd Lincoln dives into the First Lady’s dreams of cabaret stardom. Even better, it’s a block-and-a-half away from the Majestic, which takes you well out of range of my blow darts. Bonus points if you see Betty Gilpin’s performance: she carries a gun with her at all times for this exact reason.

3. REDWOOD, Nederlander Theater Idina Menzel is back on Broadway, originating yet another starring role! This is a heartrending show about the impressive lengths one must go to grow. The set includes a massive redwood tree, the perfect hiding spot for you when I break into the theater, net prepped, hounds on your scent. You’re close. I’m closer.

4. ROMEO + JULIET, Circle in the Square Theater Kit Connor and Rachel Zegler star in this Gen Z take on an Elizabethan classic! It’s the perfect final blend of modern and medieval media, since you won’t be seeing either from behind the bars of your cage. You won’t see much of anything, beyond the flash of a camera, or the glint of artificial sunlight off your water trough. Anyway, there’re like 10 people in this cast – surely some of them can hold me back as you escape.
   

5. ENGLISH, Todd Haimes Theater

   It is refreshing to see the Broadway premieres of both a playwright and a director. There’s an excitement to it, to watch the next chapter of a well-deserved career unfold. Thank you, Roundabout, for raising up the voices of those who cannot oh fuck I netted you.