by Caitlin Bitzegaio. @caitorade.
NEW YORK, NY - A local friend group’s “funny joke” to go see Pamela Anderson in Chicago on Broadway will reportedly cost each person $150, confirmed several sources who quickly stopped smiling after clicking "purchase".
“I sent everyone the Deadline article about Pam over Whatsapp before boarding the train," reported personal assistant Hannah McNeil, 31, who has actually never seen Baywatch and was sort of picturing Jenny McCarthy when she sent the article. “By the time I was off the subway at Herald Square, the group had decided we were all going. The whole thing really ballooned out of my control. Teaches you never to read on the train.”
McNeil had to Venmo best friend Craig Washington $150 after he revealed he’d pulled the trigger on buying the tickets for everyone without fully, fully getting everyone’s consent.
“I guess the price is a little steep,” admitted Washington, who is famous among the group for his unorthodox financial decisions like selling leggings online and applying for MFA programs. “I’m working as a server right now. I was out of work for a long time, but as long as there’s no crazy new variants I should be able to afford to see Pam Anderson on Broadway, and I think it’s worth it for the definitely funny gag. Right?”
One member of the friend group has a long-term financial plan for Broadway’s craven celebrity worship.
“I have a credit card specifically for Chicago’s stunt casting,” said Tamara Deal, 35, unemployed. “I’ve seen everyone: Erika Jayne, Ashlee Simpson, Mel B, Rumer Williis, Billy Ray Cyrus. It’s literally never worth it, but I keep going back. I hope to pay off the balance one day, but, yeah, right now my Chicago stunt casting credit card is why I can’t get a lease without a guarantor.”
The group chat shared a lot of GIFs and emojis when Patel asked what Bob Fosse, the legendary director of the original production of Chicago, would think of Anderson as Roxy before Washington astutely concluded that he would “probably like it tbh.”
Comments