by Elizabeth Downing.
NEW YORK, NY - Broadway fans were recently shocked and dismayed to discover that the playbill for Broadway’s newest transfer is so poorly designed they’re unable to post that iconic pre-show picture.
“This show is a life-changing experience,” raved Sylvia Egger, self-proclaimed Broadway superfan, while waiting at the stage door with mascara still running. “To spend three hours watching people run around onstage and not have 200 Instagram comments to read afterwards really makes you think. I can’t wait for the cast to sign my used napkin from concessions.”
Rodney Carlson, a Minnesota tourist in charge of his family’s trip to the city, was similarly enthusiastic.
“I didn’t realize Broadway tickets were a ‘plan ahead’ kinda thing,” admitted Carlson, decked out in merch that we assume was made by kindergarteners with glitter glue. “After we didn’t get into our first 14 choices, I had resigned myself to a divorce. But we stepped in here for the bathroom and they just seated us! Everyone before the show was very attentive, not a phone in sight. Not sure why they gave us these little abstract paintings, though.”
The intern in charge of the show’s Instagram, who wishes to remain anonymous to avoid association with the design, reached out to provide additional details.
“I want to be clear, I had nothing to do with it,” they stressed in their tell-all. “I was supposed to take some nice pictures and throw together a post. But they dropped that thing off and I realized that there are things in life more important than just a job in the industry that you’ve loved since middle school. I just couldn’t post that monstrosity. Again, I did not design it. I only received the finished product. I did not create the design. Please listen to me, I’m not involved!”
Our reporters attempted to provide a review of the show in question, but were unable to remember the title to locate the theater. An update will be made available once we are able to identify it through the secondary method: curtain call videos.
Comments