by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - Ah shit. It looks like Rosie the elephant from Water for Elephants met the King Kong Puppet from King Kong and the War Horse from War Horse, and instead of just doing normal puppet things, she’s doing a Challengers with them.
“To be the best, you have to beat the best - both physically and mentally,” noted Rosie, sporting a short bob that we don’t remember her having in the show. “I’m taking such good care of my little Very Heavy Puppets.”
The King Kong Puppet - who is the Mike Faist in this scenario, I guess? - was quick to weigh in on his role.
“This is all just a hiccup. I know what I’m capable of. I’ve never been more committed to my craft. Well, I mean I guess I was more committed when my show was running, but don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll be available for licensing real soon,” claimed the KKP, who then sat in a chair and silently (sexually?) glared at the War Horse for a while.
The War Horse in question, however, was all smiles.
“Trust me - I know I’m the one she wants. Does five Tony awards and a film adaptation mean nothing anymore?” asked the WH while eatin’ a banana - famously a gorilla’s favorite food. “Also, are you gonna finish that sandwich?”
At press time, Rosie was seen jumping up and screaming real loud as King Kong did indeed announce that it’s available for licensing.
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